1 Feb

Ben pinned on LtCol.

Random thoughts about Racoon eyes

Four years ago, after Noah was weaned and Ben had returned from being deployed I realized that I was exhausted.  Now, being a girl who loves to sleep, I wasn't too worried and just figured I need more napping in my day and came up with a vigorous program of resting and napping to fix the problem.

It didn't work.

You would think that after 13 years of being pregnant or nursing that being not pregnant and not nursing would give me tons of energy, but I felt even worse then when I had been pregnant, so, off to the doctor I hauled my tired little self, and after the blood work came back he told me I was getting over mono, and to just take it easy.  One year later, I was still exhausted, but when I returned to the doctor and got more tests done nothing showed up.  Also, we were in the middle of an international move, and who wouldn't be tired out by all that?  I suppose some part of me gave up caring at that point and was just resigned to being tired for the rest of my life.

Two years and two doctors later and who knows how much blood work, I found out that my thyroid is kaput.  Plus, I have an autoimmune disorder which has mistaken my thyroid for the enemy.  Good times!   About 9 months after the diagnosis I'm finally on the correct dosage of synthroid.

I'm still tired.

It's not nearly as bad as it was, and I'm sure some of the tiredness is due to the unrelenting darkness of German winter, but it's still discouraging to feel so terrible so much of the time.  And this is with a disease which is easily treatable and really isn't such a big deal.  It's made me really feel empathy for anyone with any kind of a chronic health issue.

I'm writing this down because Ben took the boy to see the doc for a rash which has spread all over his body and the doctor wasn't nearly as worried about the rash as he was about No's dark circles.  The dark circles I don't even notice (which all my kids have) because I have always had dark circles under my eyes, no matter how well rested I am.

Health is a weird thing and I am really glad we are as healthy as we are.

Also, my thyroid issues have caused me to wonder how long I've had problems.  After all, feeling cold all the time is a symptom of thyroid problems and I still remember the dream Andy had of our house burning down, while I sat in the embers telling everyone that I was finally warm.  It was funny, because it wasn't all that far from the truth.

Vanity

I am losing my hair.  This is not news, and has been happening for quite some time, but since moving to Germany it has accelerated drastically.  I don't like it.  Since my hair is already very thin and very fine, it seems a bit unfair for it to be abandoning my head altogether.  In any case, I've been toying with the idea of just getting the standard old German Lady cut, very short and very layered and usually dyed an unnatural red.  My essential laziness/cheapness in finding someone I trust to cut my hair has kept me from doing anything drastic so far.

This was me in December:

 Then, Deanna had an activity where she learned to cut hair.  Always eager to force my children to labor without pay I asked her to trim my hair with her newfound knowledge.  This is how long is it now:

Can't even put it in a ponytail.  

So, next:  red?  Layers?   Give up and buy a wig?  Or wait until Linnea comes to visit and make her do something with my hair!  

Maybe it's time to learn how to tie a head scarf.