Step 1: Drive an American-sized car while paying European-sized prices. Pay a hundred Euros every time you fill it up. Watch your husband lament the fact that only Esso stations in Germany accept his Esso card. Laugh because your car takes about 11 litres per 100 klicks. Remember that the last time you paid over a hundred bucks to fill a car it was at the height of expensive gas in the states, and you were filling your biggity full-sized van. Wonder how the Prices can afford to fill up their full-sized van in Europe?
Step 2: Fill that huge van to the brim with little people
2a: find a hotel room to fit 8 people, (or two, or three rooms)
2b: feed all 8 people regularly
Step 3: Make at least one visit to the doctor *
Step 4: Damage the aforementioned vehicle. Twice. Realize that you have a problem parking a minivan in tight spaces. Wonder why you never scraped the sides of the biggity full-sized van? Conclude that you need a car with rubberized sides as you watch that vein in your husband's temple throb while he contemplates the scratches. Then, watch the ding in the windshield crack ALL the way across the windshield. Think bad words.
Step 5: Convince your husband that you can spend responsibly while visiting a Dutch cheese shop.
Step 6: Give thanks that you've had the opportunity to travel in Europe. Seriously.
* Actually, at 30 euros to get Zak's head stitched back up it was probably the cheapest thing we did all week. Easy, too, Ben and Zak just walked across the square to the doc's office, zip, zoom, all done in time for dinner! I may be in love with socialized medicine now.
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